Nowadays, outrage is our only mode of discourse. It is high time that we all calmed down
You know it's been a bad year when you find yourself slumped in front of the television watching The 50 Funniest Moments of 2012![ext]()
and most of them do not make you laugh, they just make you incredulous about what humanity is becoming. At No 1 was footage from MTV's Tyneside reality show Geordie Shore![ext]()
, which showed an unusually flatulent woman wetting herself.
You start fulminating about the collapse of civilisation. And then you stop. Because you realise that you have fallen under the spell of 2012. You have been brainwashed, you are speaking in tongues and the only language you can talk is fluent Outrage. You have become One of Them.
As we advance towards the End of Days, as surely we do, social media are replacing most normal, considered interaction with bombastic, instantaneous verbalised graffiti. And the country probably has gone to hell. If hell is wall-to-wall Channel 4 "list" shows, Geordies with exploding orifices and a cabinet that has meetings attended by 26 men and only five women. (Sorry. I am starting to get outraged again. You see, this is how it happens.)
But the problem is not the expression of opinions, it's how they come out. Outrage has become the lingua franca of a generation. Soon it may be the only language we understand.
There are lots of contributing factors. Internet anonymity makes people say things they would never say to anyone's face. And it gives people freedom to expression untempered, raw emotion in a way you never could in conversation. The necessity for brevity on both Twitter and Facebook gives more punch than intended to any opinion. And the proliferation of information competing for our attention encourages everyone to shout louder and more passionately. They're more likely to be heard that way.
We are where we are, though. And unless you have a megaphone or own a multimedia conglomerate, the only way to beat them is to join them. Make it your New Year's resolution to learn a new language: Let's parler Outrage! Here is a basic lesson.
• The words and the opinions are less important than the emotions behind them. It doesn't really matter what you say. All that matters is that you won't stop saying it. And just when it seems like you've finished talking, you come back for more and are even more outraged. Until you move on to the next thing that outrages you. See: Twitter.
• A sense of massive anger and personal offence is now the appropriate response to any news event or cultural manifestation. Is the event something that any sensible person would automatically be outraged by and therefore it's pointless to express outrage? Then you must express it all the more. See: internet response to any senseless killing.
• When you're speaking Outrage, if you want to come across as an adept conversationalist, never back down. No matter how entrenched the position of the other person and how pointless the exchange, just become more heated in the expression of your views. In a face-to-face conversation, people tend to concede points or agree to differ because otherwise the only logical conclusion of outrage is a fistfight. Online, it cannot descend to physical violence (although sometimes it feels like a psychic form of physical violence being inflicted via a computer keyboard) so it just escalates and builds until one of you walks away from the conversation. DON'T forget to misspell KEY points of yr argunment and includ some typos.
• It doesn't matter so much WHAT you say but the strength of feeling behind it and HOW you say it. This can be emphasised by the almost RANDOMISED use of CAPITAL LETTERS. For example, imagine you wish to make a comment about the narrative outcome of the recent Downton Abbey Christmas special. In everyday English, you might say something like: "Oh dear. A car crash is a rather disappointing way to end a festive costume drama." If you are speaking Outrage, you say (as one viewer did): "I AM 100% DONE WITH THIS SHOW. I CAN'T BREATHE."
• True outrage must be sincere. Witness its most eloquent (read: inarticulate) speaker, nuttymadam3575, whose emotionally charged YouTube video![ext]()
declaiming her sense of betrayal over Twilight's Kristen Stewart cheating on boyfriend (and Twilight actor) Robert Pattinson has had roughly 3 million hits. "WHY? Why would you cheat on Robert Pattinson? What you stand to achieve by cheating on Robert Pattinson? You were stupid enough to be PHOTOGRAPHED doing it. Don't be so STUPID."
In reality, we all know that it's difficult to feel that outraged about anything for long. And if you really were that outraged, then wouldn't you dedicate your life to changing things? Or to examining the source of your feeling and wondering what it said about you that you got so angry and worked up about things that you can't control and can't be bothered to influence?
Outrage is a sideshow. It's another version of Bedlam for the masses. It's the (barely) literate version of TOWIE![ext]()
and without the diverting Jacuzzi scenes. If you want to progress in life, by all means learn this language. But if you value your wellbeing, don't.
Personally, you will find me whispering compassionate asides at the back of the room in mellifluous but unintelligible pidgin Esperanto. Because getting all worked up over nothing is the intellectual equivalent of farting and pissing yourself at the same time. And no one wants that. Or do they? Reported by guardian.co.uk 2 days ago.
You know it's been a bad year when you find yourself slumped in front of the television watching The 50 Funniest Moments of 2012
and most of them do not make you laugh, they just make you incredulous about what humanity is becoming. At No 1 was footage from MTV's Tyneside reality show Geordie Shore, which showed an unusually flatulent woman wetting herself.You start fulminating about the collapse of civilisation. And then you stop. Because you realise that you have fallen under the spell of 2012. You have been brainwashed, you are speaking in tongues and the only language you can talk is fluent Outrage. You have become One of Them.
As we advance towards the End of Days, as surely we do, social media are replacing most normal, considered interaction with bombastic, instantaneous verbalised graffiti. And the country probably has gone to hell. If hell is wall-to-wall Channel 4 "list" shows, Geordies with exploding orifices and a cabinet that has meetings attended by 26 men and only five women. (Sorry. I am starting to get outraged again. You see, this is how it happens.)
But the problem is not the expression of opinions, it's how they come out. Outrage has become the lingua franca of a generation. Soon it may be the only language we understand.
There are lots of contributing factors. Internet anonymity makes people say things they would never say to anyone's face. And it gives people freedom to expression untempered, raw emotion in a way you never could in conversation. The necessity for brevity on both Twitter and Facebook gives more punch than intended to any opinion. And the proliferation of information competing for our attention encourages everyone to shout louder and more passionately. They're more likely to be heard that way.
We are where we are, though. And unless you have a megaphone or own a multimedia conglomerate, the only way to beat them is to join them. Make it your New Year's resolution to learn a new language: Let's parler Outrage! Here is a basic lesson.
• The words and the opinions are less important than the emotions behind them. It doesn't really matter what you say. All that matters is that you won't stop saying it. And just when it seems like you've finished talking, you come back for more and are even more outraged. Until you move on to the next thing that outrages you. See: Twitter.
• A sense of massive anger and personal offence is now the appropriate response to any news event or cultural manifestation. Is the event something that any sensible person would automatically be outraged by and therefore it's pointless to express outrage? Then you must express it all the more. See: internet response to any senseless killing.
• When you're speaking Outrage, if you want to come across as an adept conversationalist, never back down. No matter how entrenched the position of the other person and how pointless the exchange, just become more heated in the expression of your views. In a face-to-face conversation, people tend to concede points or agree to differ because otherwise the only logical conclusion of outrage is a fistfight. Online, it cannot descend to physical violence (although sometimes it feels like a psychic form of physical violence being inflicted via a computer keyboard) so it just escalates and builds until one of you walks away from the conversation. DON'T forget to misspell KEY points of yr argunment and includ some typos.
• It doesn't matter so much WHAT you say but the strength of feeling behind it and HOW you say it. This can be emphasised by the almost RANDOMISED use of CAPITAL LETTERS. For example, imagine you wish to make a comment about the narrative outcome of the recent Downton Abbey Christmas special. In everyday English, you might say something like: "Oh dear. A car crash is a rather disappointing way to end a festive costume drama." If you are speaking Outrage, you say (as one viewer did): "I AM 100% DONE WITH THIS SHOW. I CAN'T BREATHE."
• True outrage must be sincere. Witness its most eloquent (read: inarticulate) speaker, nuttymadam3575, whose emotionally charged YouTube video
declaiming her sense of betrayal over Twilight's Kristen Stewart cheating on boyfriend (and Twilight actor) Robert Pattinson has had roughly 3 million hits. "WHY? Why would you cheat on Robert Pattinson? What you stand to achieve by cheating on Robert Pattinson? You were stupid enough to be PHOTOGRAPHED doing it. Don't be so STUPID."In reality, we all know that it's difficult to feel that outraged about anything for long. And if you really were that outraged, then wouldn't you dedicate your life to changing things? Or to examining the source of your feeling and wondering what it said about you that you got so angry and worked up about things that you can't control and can't be bothered to influence?
Outrage is a sideshow. It's another version of Bedlam for the masses. It's the (barely) literate version of TOWIE
and without the diverting Jacuzzi scenes. If you want to progress in life, by all means learn this language. But if you value your wellbeing, don't.Personally, you will find me whispering compassionate asides at the back of the room in mellifluous but unintelligible pidgin Esperanto. Because getting all worked up over nothing is the intellectual equivalent of farting and pissing yourself at the same time. And no one wants that. Or do they? Reported by guardian.co.uk 2 days ago.